So many feelings I have right now, can my mind catch up with me? Thoughts are flying everywhere. The day my grandma died, I felt like a truck hit me. I thought I was ready for it. I guess you really can’t prepare yourself enough for something so sad. I felt anger more than anything, almost like that was my way of being sad.
I don’t know why that happens, I either lash out, or take over. Neither are all that healthy. Stress does something awful to your body. It lowers your immunity and you get this over whelming feeling to eat. I don’t know if it’s like this for everyone but it’s like this for me. It’s like a battle of who is stronger. I don’t always win, but you know that one thing I’ve learned through this journey of losing weight and getting healthy is, I know I screw up but it doesn’t stop me from getting back up.
Yes! Getting back up. The hardest part I believe is getting in a rut of always starting over and never finishing the race. I have 10lbs to lose and through all this emotional stuff, I’ve held onto the weight. The mind plays this nasty trick on you that tells you that life is just to hard, You can’t do it, look at your situation. I’ve played into the game of the mind and I’ve felt defeated, sad, lost, heart sick and confused. God tells us to fully rely on him. If we have these feelings, are we really putting our trust where we need to.
Losing weight is so much more than just dieting and exercising. You deal with the heart and mind as well. You have to deal with the root of your weight. I know when I started losing weight, I decided I was tired of always being upset with myself. I got to the point were I was not comfortable in my skin. That’s when I made a life change.
I’m the only one that can motivate myself to keep going. I’m surrounded by dedicated people that also help motivate and are good at it, but if I don’t make the decision their effort is for nothing. Think about it! What is more important, allowing yourself to fall because of the situation, or grab the situation and learn from it?
When I learned that my daughter had health issues and was sick all the time. I decided that I wanted to be healthy, so I could be strong enough to be there for her. I’m making the decision to stay the course, it’s worth it.